I think the closest I have ever come to “dying” is when I had Tre. I had to have a surgery after ward and had to have anesthesia. I signed the form and was pretty nervous about this procedure. The last thing I remember saying to the doctor was please don’t let me die. And no she didn’t say of course not, she have a nervous laugh and said lets not think like that. The last thing I saw was this pink and black designer tile coming down and the from two directions closed in over my face like a tomb scrapping sounds and all….! I don’t think I will ever forget that feeling or those sounds. But I truly felt dead. It wasn’t a good feeling . I felt alone, permanently placed and trapped.Have you ever felt that way? You don’t have to be physically dead to feel cut off from life. Sometimes in our lives we feel all these things and they probably don’t feel any better than being dead. And we kind of wait for a rescue. Amongst many things we wait because death in any sense if not permanent. But who are you trusting to call you out?
Let me just say Jesus is not always my first thought. I think at times I rely on myself to get the job done.
In my mind I feel like this may be one of the reasons for us not to see Jesus in all his glory and believe that he can rescue us. We feel, deep down in the back of the brain where we keep our own laws for life, that we can do what Jesus can do. That we can do as well of a job as he can or that we can only trust ourselves to care for us the way we need to be cared for. All of this is not true of course. WE see this in the story of Lazarus. Jesus could do way more than Lazarus could. Lazarus was dead. If it were up to Lazarus he would have stayed dead. Jesus wouldn’t let him stay that way. He loved him so much, he wept and he called him out of his state. A Savior like that is worth trusting.
Doesn’t mean we wont doubt. We’ve been hurt, shunned, done wrong, lied to and a whole manner of things that make up our lives. It’s not always easy to see the beauty of God that requires that you believe and love him. In our own humanness we cant understand something for nothing. A saving, the ultimate favor….love quite frankly. Here are the songs for the week. Let’s let them help us to pray and talk to God about what’s holding us in the grave and maybe any doubt we experience. He will answer. Have a good week, see you Sunday!

Christ be revealed-https://youtu.be/sZHVoXtD5SU
Open the eyes of my heart-https://youtu.be/aLi-uYwE8Go
My God is awesome-https://youtu.be/_YJ4vddbJJo
Amazing Grace-https://youtu.be/Jbe7OruLk8I
So Amazing-https://youtu.be/KpqrhaK1bhE

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